My Time Of Courage:)

"It takes a kind of shabby arrogance to survive in our time, and a fairly romantic nature to want to."(-Friednebreg, Edgar Z. ) Courage and Bravery happens all the time in your life. Even when you don't even notice it. In my opinion, as were growing up we start to realize what courage is all about; and while where growing and living we experience many things in which we actually had to have courage and bravery without even noticing it. Courage doesn't make you your own unique person, the way that you deal and handle with courage throughout your life is what makes you your own unique self.

Courage and bravery is about all the little and big things that matter most in your life. Either positive or negative, it's whether you took the challenge of being brave and courageous to handle it, or if you just wimped out and denied it. In my life there are many things that had happened to me that made me take courage and be brave. One that I would like to share is when I pretty much had to choose between my mother or getting a good education.

It all started around the end of May 2oo7 we recieved that phone call from the person I called my dad. After three months in jail, it was decided that he was getting deported back to Mexico. My mother told me the news, it did hurt me that I would never see him again, but at the same time I really didn't care. Our lives were much better without him anyway. Then, the other next big shocker came, my mom told me that we are moving to Mexico with him as well. Now that was something that just hit me, I didn't know how to handle it so I just ran into my room and called my used to be best guy friend and told him the news first. He was completely torn, then I was using the computer at the same time and I IMed my best friend and my used to be other best friend and told them. Unlike me, they freaked. Weeks passed and I just forgot about it, then I noticed my mom start packing and putting things away. That's when I realized I just had to face reality and accept it too. So throughout my last days I packed, and made memories with my friends.

My brother had his wedding July 19, and we left the very next day. In the morning my brother and his wife came to say goodbye, and my brother told my mom and me that his wife's family would be more than happy to take me in so that I can have a good education and life, plus still have my friends. My mom without hesitating said: "No, no way." Just like that, but after a little thinking she realized maybe it is the best thing for me, so we came to the agreement that I would still leave with her and that it was up to me if I wanted to go back to Albuquerque, New Mexico.

In the end, I decided to come back. It was a little difficult, but I did it. So far, I am alright with my life, I had many benefits. Lots of good things and bad things have come. But sometimes I just sit alone and let my mind think free. I ask myself what would it have been like if I decided to stay with my mom? Maybe I could have avoided something terrible that happened to her over in Mexico. She's fine now, at least that's what she makes me think. But I feel guilty because I feel like I have abandoned my mother, and I realized nothing in the world is better than to have the love and care of your own mother. Even sometimes I think that she chose my dad over all of us, she didn't have to go with him. I don't have anything against her, I just ask myself why?

In conclusion what I am trying to say is that this has been the hardest, yet the best two years for me. It's something were I really have showed bravery and courage. Since I haven't seen my mom I felt like there has been an empty space inside me that hurts very much; and the saddest thing is I don't even have a picture of her. I talk to her every once in a while, but I have felt that no matter what, my empty space will never be healed. When I met someone very special in my life it seemed to be healing slowly, but of course never forgotten. It's not that I forgot about my friends either, they helped me a lot, but that person has something. I don't depend my life on that person I just know that if I didn't have that person today, I don't know where I would be. I feel as if that person saved me.