Where to start, well this year has been great. A year I will never forget no doubt about it. Before you realize it, your life goes by in a blink of an eye and you never take the time to sit back and just go through all the memories you have made this year or in your life time. My most cherished memory didn't happen during school, it happened during the summer. Around June 8 or close to those days was when everything changed. It was during my friends Quinceanera practices to be exact. When you look at a person for the first time you have no idea that he will mean something very special to you. It started out with a simple glance at him, and in my mind "o wow look at him, what a whore." Not even with the slightest idea that in his mind all he wanted to do was meet me. He tried talking to me, I ignored him. So he got close to one of my friends trying to get to know me through her. In a way it seemed that he wanted my friend instead of me, but that was not the case. Then, on one of those practices we ended up being partners for the day, everything was so comfortable and so much fun with him, but the practice soon ended and we went home.
The next day there was practices and again we ended up being partners ending the day with the fun and joy of yesterday. That night my friend had asked me if I liked him, guiltily I said no because in my mind I felt that in a way she liked him. But I left it like that, then she said that he text ed her asking for my number, ignoring her question I just continued on with the conversation me and her were having. She ended up giving him my number, without me answering her. He text ed me and I text ed him back we text ed throughout the whole night until I fell asleep on him. The next day he text ed me good morning and from there we text ed throughout the entire day. Everything felt so right when we text ed it was the best feeling I ever had, just unexplainable. Finally, we were texting in the night around 11:24 not exactly sure, and he had asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I said: "Como amigos o algo mas? eske no kiero any misunderstandings como lo de Jasmelly", and he said "yo kiero mas ke amigos, pero its up to u=)" then I said "okai=)". Not knowing what was going through his mind he said "a mi me gustaria ser mas ke amigos empezando desde ahorita o ke piensas tu:).?" I answered "alfin! ya era tiempo ke me preguntes ya ganas tenia t darte una cachetada lol claro ke me gustaria ser mas ke amigos desde ahorita:))." and that was the moment that I felt that I could run around the world 30 times. Its silly if you think about it that you can spend so much studying trying to memorize something, yet you can remember everything with exact detail that happened in one little summer night.
Ottmar and I have been through lots of things together with the little time we've been and known each other. With late night phone calls that last up to six hours, to fighting with our parents because they wouldn't let us see each other, to dealing with little jealous acts, to dealing with life like school, friends, family problems, but we never gave up on each other because together was the only way we could have dealt with it.
To make the story short that guy ended up meaning everything to me. It may seem silly to say that I am "in love" with him because of my young age, but I believe that love is not about the age, or giving up your virginity, or how many years have you been with someone. It's a wonderful feeling and it's up to you and your partner to keep that feeling alive no matter how hard things may get. I have to be honest with myself and say that me and Ottmar have hurt each other a lot. I lied, cheated, and hurt his heart many times, and Ottmar well he has sometimes taken me for granted or just forget about me, and hurt my own heart at times. We've broken up for good right now, he has a life to look up ahead of him. I would like to be included in that life, but I am just not ready for that, I am just a 16 year old sophomore soon to be JR, I might not even be mature enough for that yet. I need to enjoy my high school life go out with friends, do things I am not supposed to and simply get in trouble.
You might read this and say what an idiot. If you have the perfect guy for you why don't you just grow up and accept him? I know that all these things don't even matter because sooner or later I will have to think about my future to, and what if letting him go was the biggest mistake I have ever made? He said many times from back in September, November, and the last time in March that he will come back. But he also said that we will make it and life won't get in the way of our relationship, and that didn't quite turn out as we had planned. All I have to say is that if destiny wanted us to be together it will find a way and re-unite us again, hopefully our stubbornness and little acts of jealousy won't keep that from happening like it is at this moment. It's so hard to learn to say goodbye to someone after so many memories that you had created. If at the end nothing works out and everything just falls apart all I have to say is that I will keep on with my life and the joy he has brought to me and that he will always have a piece of my heart and will be a memory I will never forget because I truly do love him.
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